Two and a Half Men

E1. Pilot

Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

★ 6.7

E2. Big Flappy Bastards

Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

★ 7.2

E3. Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

★ 7.2

E4. If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

★ 7.4

E5. The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump

Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

★ 7.2

E6. Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

★ 6.7